


and just spare me the details

by bellamythology



Series: i've heard every album, listened to the radio [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Pining, Songfic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26222293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamythology/pseuds/bellamythology
Summary: Yeah, she knew it was selfish. And sudden. And just wrong.Normally she would’ve just talked it over with Bellamy; it wouldn’t be the first time that one of them had expressed reservations about the other’s dates. That would mean facing these awful feelings, though, and she found herself inexplicably reluctant to do that.So she’d keep it all to herself, as long as he spared her the details.[ songfic of "Details"  - Maisie Peters ]
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Echo, the bellarke is unrequited but central; the becho is established but secondary
Series: i've heard every album, listened to the radio [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/311865
Kudos: 10





	and just spare me the details

**Author's Note:**

> Found while sifting through my many WIP docs; figured I might as well clean it up a bit and finally post.
> 
> Maisie Peters has really awesome lyrics (many of which I have borrowed, whether directly or paraphrased) and catchy melodies; [listen to "Details"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIJYwkYJYlM) to really appreciate the angst.

They usually knew everything about each other, up to and including the details of their romantic lives: where their new significant other was from, the New Year’s party where they’d met. And Clarke wouldn’t have blamed anyone for assuming that she’d be curious about Bellamy’s girlfriend — especially since he’d been skipping out on their multiple-times-a-week lunches and group movie nights.

She did want to know where he’d been and why he couldn’t have at least texted her; he’d dated before, as had she of course, and it had never before been a problem. Not like this.

But when Raven made a point of adding Echo to the invite list for the end-of-semester celebration, Clarke realized that she really didn’t want to meet her. Didn’t want to have to pretend they would get along, didn’t want to play nice.

Yeah, she knew it was selfish. And sudden. And just wrong.

Normally she would’ve just talked it over with Bellamy; it wouldn’t be the first time that one of them had expressed reservations about the other’s dates. That would mean facing these awful feelings, though, and the fact that she didn't know what to do about them.

So she’d keep it all to herself, as long as he spared her the details.

_Did you hear Bellamy made her a mixtape? What is this, the eighties?_

Clarke didn’t care about that. Didn’t want to care. (Thanks, Octavia, for telling her anyway.)

_Did you hear Echo smokes? Now there’s two of them. Huh, I wonder if she smokes the same kind of cigarettes as Bellamy …_

Clarke didn’t care about that, either. (She’d long since given up on getting Bellamy to quit: the stress of quitting on top of the stress that kept driving him back to it was just not something she could bear witness to.)

_Last time we got into a fight, we made up in that park, you know, the one we always go —_

It was the hardest coming from Bellamy himself, of course, the hardest to block out. But Clarke was trying so hard not to care.

Really, at this point she didn’t have many options besides just continuing to ignore Echo every time they crossed paths, every time they found themselves at the same events. And Echo was always really nice to her, which only made her feel worse.

So yeah, she was bitter about losing her best friend’s undivided attention. And jealous of the girl she’d lost it to. And mean to said girl.

But it wasn’t as though she wanted to _talk_ about it. She didn’t know what to do about this feeling, didn’t want this feeling; all she could do was keep it to herself. If only the world could spare her the details of what she was missing out on.

In hindsight she probably shouldn’t have been surprised when Bellamy pulled her into a relatively quiet corner on Friday night. They were both a little drunk, and he wasn’t totally coherent as he asked why she’d been so off since "late December or so." (Probably for the better that he wasn’t sober enough to put the pieces together.)

“I don’t really know.” Clarke brushed off his concern. “I don’t remember.”

She didn’t think she necessarily wanted him to herself — she was used to sharing with Octavia and the rest of their friends, after all. But she knew she didn’t want him with anyone else.

Not that he wanted to hear that either, if she knew him at all.

They weren't talking about it, because that would mean doing something about it. Or dancing around it, which was worse than what they _were_ doing.

So Clarke vowed that she'd continue to keep it all to herself, as long as he did too — and spared her the details.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated - let me know how I can improve, or if you particularly enjoyed certain lines. and you can always come talk to me on Tumblr ([@bellamythology](http://bellamythology.tumblr.com)), where [I'm participating in t100 Fic for BLM](https://bellamythology.tumblr.com/post/620943479096442880/)!


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